


The Alchemist's Midnight Mind

by TakaSeokk



Category: Fullmetal Alchemist
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-07
Updated: 2016-08-07
Packaged: 2018-07-29 09:25:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,077
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7679059
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TakaSeokk/pseuds/TakaSeokk
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Due to the ending events of FMA: B, Ed has been experiencing PTSD and horrible insomnia.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Alchemist's Midnight Mind

**Author's Note:**

  * For [my sister: ink](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=my+sister%3A+ink).



I blinked up at the dark ceiling above me with hands resting underneath my head. I would’ve normally been long asleep by now, but tonight was different. I couldn’t keep my thoughts still and I was feeling abnormally twitchy. The mattress beneath me seemed harder than it usually did and for some reason and I couldn’t help but nod my right ankle from side to side. I couldn’t stand it anymore. I abruptly sat up in bed and let out a breath.

_Get ahold of yourself. You’re fine, everything’s fine._

I ran my fingers through my hair and scooted to the foot of the bed as quietly as I could, letting my legs hang over the edge as my feet touched the cold floor. But even though both feet were firmly planted on the floor, it was only my right foot that could even register the feeling of the wood panels beneath me. Nothing but automail glinted back at me as I looked at my left. With a quiet little clack, I raised my automail leg out in front of me and admired the way the incoming moonlight caught and shimmered off of its metal surface. I mindlessly traced the scar on my thigh where the prosthetic connected with skin, following its ragged edges that I knew so well.

I sat in silence for a while, listening to the sounds of the Resembool countryside that floated in through the open window. The sleeping figure in the bed beside me let out a little sigh in her sleep. I turned my head back to look at Winry and watched as she shifted and moved her leg so that her foot was right next to me. I looked down at it and smiled slightly, reaching out to trace little doodles with my finger onto the skin of her calf. I then pulled myself back into the bed and settled behind her, reaching my left arm around her torso and pulling her tightly to my chest.

Winry made a content little waking noise as I buried my face into her neck and kissed the skin there. “Mmm,” Winry pushed herself back and closer to me, worming her leg between mine so that we were tangled together. I breathed in her warm and comforting scent and felt some of the anxiety slip off my shoulders. But only some.

“Did I wake you?” I asked quietly.

“Mhmm,” she replied drowsily.

“Sorry,” I told her and I rested my head in the crook between her head and shoulder. “I didn’t try to.”

“S’okay, Ed.” Winry’s words were slurred from sleep and I felt it as she gave a deep sigh. I pulled back as she turned her head to look back at me and smirked sleepily with half-open eyelids. “But jus’ to let you know, I _do_ actually feel it when you trace transmutation circles on my legs.”

I laughed and gave Winry a quick peck on the lips. “I love you.”

Winry inhaled deeply and turned around in my arms so she was facing me. She gave me a smile, already looking more awake than she had moments before, “I love you, too.” She gave me a kiss and then pulled back, the two of us watching each other for several minutes while the crickets chirped outside. “Hey, Ed.”

“Hmm?”

Winry plucked at a loose thread on the front of my shirt and looked me in the eye. “Are you doing okay?”

I said nothing.

“It’s just…you’re always so tired lately. And I’ve noticed that you haven’t been sleeping through the night like you usually do.” She paused for a bit before adding, “You were up again just now, weren’t you?”

I sighed and shifted up into a sitting position with a clack. “Yeah,” I said. I searched my wife’s beautiful blue eyes, hoping my expression would tell her everything she wanted to know. The sapphire orbs roamed over my face and I looked down at my hands, suddenly unable to stand being under her gaze.

“You were thinking about him again, weren’t you?”

I closed my eyes. _Him. Father. Homunculus_. They all referred to the same person. Actually, _thing_ was probably more of an accurate term than person would ever be, to be honest. Father was the one who’d been haunting my sleep for the past few nights. Or maybe it had been weeks…I actually couldn’t remember the last time I’d had a decent night’s sleep. I waited a few heartbeats before finally answering, “Yes.”

I heard the sheets rustle as Winry sat up beside me. “Edward. When was the last time you slept?”

I placed my head in my hands and hunched forward with a deep exhale. My chest felt tight and heavy with resignation and something else that I couldn’t quite place my finger on. “I…I don’t know.” It came out barely more than a whisper.

Suddenly, Winry pulled me into a tight embrace. “Oh, Ed…”

I was taken aback by the unexpected action and my eyes flew open, but I quickly wrapped my arms around her shoulders and buried my face into her hair. Winry rocked us softly back and forth and spoke comforting words into my ear. I gripped her tighter. I was barely able to shove down the blocked and choking feeling that rose up from my chest and into my throat, but there was nothing I could do to stop the hot tears that began to slide down my cheeks. The next thing I knew, I was sobbing and my whole body was shaking uncontrollably as I let out all the tormenting thoughts that had been holding me hostage for who knows how long.

“Shh…shh…” Winry cooed, rubbing a comforting hand up and down my spine. “You’re okay, you’re okay. I’m here, Ed. I’m here.”

I took a shaky breath and grasped the back of her shirt into my fists, squinting my eyes tightly shut to stop the tears. All I could think was _thank you_ over and over again, making me feel so relieved that my silent sobs shook us even more. _Thank you, thank you, thank you, Winry. You’re far too good for me, you know that? Oh, Winry… Winry. My Winry._

I wasn’t sure how long I sat there encircled in her arms and cried, but whether it was minutes or even hours, I never once felt her grip loosen or grow tired. It felt so good to have her finally know about my sleeping troubles, and even more so to know that all she’d had to do was look at me to know the cause. I didn’t like the idea of having her worry or see me like this, but right now it felt good. It felt good to have someone that loved me enough to hold me as I cried late in the night despite the fact that she herself needed the sleep as well.

I finally peeled myself away from her and sat back, grateful for the darkness that hid my eyes and face, which I was sure were red as hell. I ran a slightly shaky hand over my hair and complied willingly as Winry gently grasped me and laid me back down on the bed. She then laid down beside me and propped herself up on her elbow, watching me with concerned yet loving eyes.

I ran my hands down my face with a sigh and looked up at the ceiling. “I can’t help but think that Father is still out there.” The words were hoarse and raspy from my crying. “Every night…” I took a shaky breath and closed my eyes, pausing to make sure I wouldn’t burst into tears again before saying, “I don’t know why it’s suddenly coming back to get me when it happened years ago.”

Winry took a deep breath. “Ed, it’s only natural that something that awful would haunt you, no matter how long ago it happened. I mean…” I opened my eyes and looked over at her. “Do you know how many times I’d wake up thinking you were gone or off on some assignment from the military, only to reach over and find you sleeping right beside me? It’s okay for you to still worry about these things…even if they aren’t necessarily true anymore. Besides, don’t you think Father would have shown his face by now if he truly weren’t gone?”

I mulled over her words in my mind, “Yeah, I guess you’re right.”

“Of course I’m right,” Winry said with a smile. She laid her torso down on top of mine and rested her chin on her folded hands that sat on my chest. “Would you have married me if I was wrong?”

I reached up and gently stroked her hair. “Yes.”

Winry laughed and I twirled her hair around my finger while looking deep into her eyes. We watched each other intently and I trailed my hand down from her hair to her chin. I hooked my finger beneath it and pulled her in for a kiss. Her lips gently landed against mine and I moved my hand back up behind her head, the calloused hands of a mechanic softly caressing both sides of my face. Winry kissed me tenderly and her fingers stroked along my cheeks and jaw.

She pulled away and looked at me with a silly and crooked smirk, “Ed, honey, you really need to shave. You’re starting to get a little scruffy.”

“Am I now?” I asked with a small smile.

She ran her hand up and down my cheek a few times before nodding her head. “Yep, definitely need to shave.”

“Oh really?” I grabbed her with a laugh and flipped her off of me, hugging her tight as I deliberately buried my face into her neck and rubbed my scruffy jawline against her shoulder.

“Ed! Ed that tickles!” Winry giggled and I pulled back with a smirk. Winry smiled back at me and hit me lightly on the shoulder. “That was so mean, Ed,” she told me.

I gave her a quick kiss before we settled back down into the bed and onto our sides, her hand clasped lightly within mine in the space between our bodies. She rubbed her thumb back and forth over my knuckles, a calm and comforting sensation that made me feel safe and at peace. The crickets’ chirps came peacefully through the window and I felt my body go heavy and limp. _I’m so tired_ , I suddenly realized with a yawn.

Winry looked at me with a content expression and continued to gently rub and play with my hand and fingers. “You tired?”

I closed my eyes and nodded with another yawn, the pillow beneath me suddenly the most wonderful thing in all of Emestris. I felt like I was sinking deep inside it and was being wrapped in a loving embrace where all my troubles would vanish and I’d wake up a free man. I relaxed into the embrace and into the darkness.

I barely registered it as Winry stopped stroking my hand and reached up to tuck my hair gently behind my ear. She pulled the sheet up over the two of us and her fingers ran down my arm and side before stopping at my waist. She rested her hand there and lightly rubbed the area with her thumb, moving closer so our foreheads touched lightly to one another.

I sighed and felt myself sink even deeper into the state of relaxation I’d become so unaccustomed to. I tried to murmur “Thank you, Winry,” to her, but my lips were so heavy that only a small breath came out.

I slipped further and further into the darkness, my body heavy as lead and yet lighter than air at the same time. It felt like I was deep in the ocean but high in the clouds; in the deepest prison yet on the highest tower of Briggs. It felt wonderful. The last shreds of anxiety finally slipped from my shoulders and for the first time in weeks, I fell peacefully and uninterruptedly into the realm of sleep. But before I totally lost consciousness, I could’ve sworn I felt a light kiss on my cheek and the brush of a calloused hand sweep the bangs off my forehead. And even though she never admitted it, I know I heard Winry whisper quietly into my ear, “Sleep well my little alchemist.”


End file.
